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Do you ever feel like time is standing still? Like in this epic X-Men scene where QuickSilver nonchalantly fucks things up …

QuickSilver Handles Business

That feels like my life right now. Only in my rendition, I’m not QuickSilver. I’m not any of the X-Men in fact. I’m just an extra or a prop. I’m that chili pot floating through the air. You’ll find me in the credits under Chili Pot #2.

LAME

But that’s basically what my quarantine has felt like. Like I’m floating through someone’s kitchen, massive amounts of food all over me, bumping up against people very occasionally and incredibly randomly. Nothing has been done on purpose or with any gumption. Just waiting around for life to happen.

Woe is me, when will it all end?

[🎵cue the organ music🎵]

The crazy thing is, I’m not positive, and I surely could be wrong … but I’m pretty sure it’s going to end when I decide it’s going to end.

When I decide to take charge of my life. When I stop asking why me and start saying why not me.

I still don’t know what my future will bring. Not even sure what I’m going to do for a living, now that I’ve decided poker isn’t it anymore. But I do know that I’m going to figure it out.

I’ve decided.